Snow Days!

In the past, I have blogged about the "Tennessee Snow Day" (TSD) phenomenon. These are days off of school, when more times than not, there is actually no snow on the ground. Well, with the first flurry of the season early this very morning (think pre 5-a.m., I saw it only in my headlights on the way to the Y at 4:45), the director of the preschool decided to prepare the parents for the season that lies ahead with the following email. Hysterical.

*****************************************************
The "No Snow" Snow Days

As we enter the winter season, I would like to explain a phenomenon that we experience here in Williamson County called The "No Snow" Snow Days. This can be very confusing to newcomers to our area, especially to those of you that hail from parts more northern than Tennessee, called "The North". You are now in the "The South", and it is a well-documented fact that southerners do not do snow, or at least we don't do it well. Floods, tornadoes and hurricanes we can do. Not snow. Therefore, whenever Jeff Rayor, heaven forbid, Snow Bird mentions the "S" word, it puts forces in to action that are beyond our control. Because we are unaccustomed to the white stuff, we begin to panic. A forecast of a "slight dusting", immediately turns into the possibility of a real, or imagined blizzard. We panic some more. We know that we are no match for a blizzard. Once the"S" word starts buzzing around the airwaves, our poor, innocent children catch on to this and the real bedlam ensues. They can never, I repeat, never go to school in snow. In this panicked state, The Powers That Be (TPTB) will "delay" opening school. However, "delay" is a code word that we who have lived here (re: natives of "The South") know means that they will just go ahead and call school off anyway, just for safety's sake. Even if there is no snow. So don't be fooled by that "delayed" code word. Keep the panic alive. Keep watching the news! Some forecasters have been up all night with radar to tell you exactly when the first flake will appear on your street. These panic conditions can go on for as long as the "S" word is in the air. Now, to the confusing part of all this: You can't go to school, BUT you can,in fact must, take your kids to the mall, bowling, skating, the movies and other places of entertainment. Even if it means sitting in a terrible traffic jam on I-65 with all the other Williamson County parents to get there. At the very least, so as not to be a terrible parent, you must take your kids into Brentwood for movies, pizza and other necessities at Target. Trust me, everyone will be there, stocking up, because you can never tell how long these blizzard conditions will last.

I bring this to your attention because today they mentioned "flurries". And generally speaking, every time they (TPTB) "delay" school they will usually go ahead and close school, they're just not going to tell you that. I will then have to make my way through the "no snow" to the Preschool where I will be met by a group of unsuspecting parents with small children in tow. And I will have to explain, at length, about the "No Snow" Snow Days. And they never really believe me. Now, I must confess that we have had several real snows in the 17 years my family and I have lived in Brentwood. In fact, in 2002 we had so much snow one morning when the buses were en route to school that many of them got stuck and kids had to spend the night at the school in many locations. It took people hours to get home because everyone got confused and got on the roads to go to the mall. It was a real mess, like only a snowstorm in "The South" can be. And it was as close as I ever want to come to a blizzard! Be sure to watch Channel 3 when you get up and before you head out the door on mornings when they have predicted snow. And please remember that we follow the Williamson County Schools for delayed (code word!) openings, early closings and "No Snow" Snow Days. Enjoy your holidays. And pray for "real" snow.

Sheri