First "oops" moment

We're 5 weeks in to the new school year (can you believe it??) and finally had the first "ARGH" Matt-in-middle-school moment.  And "middle school" isn't really the problem.

Over the last month, I've probably been asked 30 times how Matt is doing in middle school.  With an "I-don't-want-to-curse-it" attitude, I've told them it was going surprisingly well (an usually knocked on a wood surface, just in case).

Let's be honest, middle school is not the easiest time of a kids life.   Any kid.   However, as the mom of an already quirky, awkward son with ADHD (nevermind the already crazy, pre-puberty stage), I had probably spent more than my fair share of time considering all the things that could go wrong both socially and academically.

But*knock on wood* we've been pleasantly surprised so far.  His grades have been awesome, he joined the cross country team, all of his teachers seem good (and a few of them are GREAT) and he seems to be making use of the blessing that is his last period FOCUS (study hall).  I think he's forgotten one thing at school in 5 weeks, which just might be a lifetime achievement for Matt.

When he got in the car this afternoon I asked what the homework situation was and he mentioned a social studies test tomorrow.   What?  I asked him on Friday to bring home everything that he would have a test in this week so we could get organized and get a head start on studying.  Nobody mentioned a Social Studies test.    Did he just find out about it today?   No.   Why didn't he bring stuff home on Friday?  He forgot.  Plus, he said, "it wasn't in my planner because the teacher didn't write it on the board."  

But you knew you had the test, right?

"Oh, yes."

So, let me get this straight, you didn't write it in your planner because the teacher didn't write it on the board?   You know you can write down more than the teacher does, right?

So on this beautifully amazing Monday afternoon that already included a make-up cross country meet, Kumon and gymnastics  (and for Matt, the hope to watch Monday Night Football), we now had to study for our first social studies test (which was over a month's worth of material).   And yes, this is a "we" thing.

Luckily, Bassam made it home early enough to see Matt run in the meet.  I had to skip the race to get Gracie and get her to Kumon earlier, since her work takes twice as a long as Matt's, plus I needed to be able to build in study time for social studies since Bassam would be heading back to work after dropping Matt at Kumon.  So I fed them a nutritious dinner of Chick Fil A and then spent the next 90 minutes helping Matt study in the mini-van while Gracie was in gymnastics.  On the seat next to me was a pile of my own work I had originally been planning to tackle. It's still there.

For a mom who tries desperately to keep her kids schedules manageable in terms of activities in a town where "more is better," it sure didn't feel like it tonight. Without using the words "I told you so," I talked to Matt at bedtime about how being organized, managing our time and using our planner could have made tonight easier for him.

"Really, Mom, it wasn't that bad. I think I've got this."

While I wanted to remind him that it wasn't all about it him, that his choices affected all of us and that yes, in fact, he could write as much as he wanted in the planner---I bit my tongue.  I was tired.  He was tired.  I was crabby.  He thought I was over-reacting, I'm sure.

"Okay.  Good night."

5th grade blues . . .

I love my son more than anything in the world (okay, except my daughter and husband), but y'all, not only is he making me kind of nuts, but I am officially OVER THE 5TH GRADE!

Matt  has the best 5th grade teacher on the team and I have no doubt that he will be ready for middle school, but the workload over the last month or two has been insane.  I completely understand that due to Matt's ADHD it is magnified at our house, but talking to some of his classmates' mamas, I know that we are not alone.  Add on to the fact that they are in high TCAP (our state tests) prep mode (read: talking about it non stop, sending home review packets in addition to homework and holding study sessions before and after school) and it's 9 kinds of crazy.   When did we decide the stress that the typical Generation X'er felt in college (maybe high school for those of you who were more diligent than I!) needed to be experienced by 10 and 11 year olds?

Matthew had a citation project due today that they had been given out last week.   I didn't think the assignment sheet itself was terribly detailed, but apparently further information was discussed in class.   Matthew was there, but apparently his mind wasn't, so on Monday afternoon when I heard through the grapevine he needed to have 4 different kinds of encyclopedias among our references (you know, because it's 2015 and NO ONE ACTUALLY USES ENCYCLOPEDIAS!), he had to do a bit of a last minute scramble.  To make a long story short, a question emailed off to his teacher on Monday resulted in his teacher having a conversation with Matt before class this morning about not waiting until the last minute to do the project.   She emailed me to let me know they had spoken and quite frankly, I felt a little bit lectured on, too.   I dropped a nice but direct note back letting her know that we discussed the project early last week and his Dad and I told Matt it was acceptable to wait until the weekend to do it because quite frankly, he was busy with regular homework every night.   I also mentioned that her suggestion of breaking it to chunks was not completely ignored by Matthew as he did do part of it Friday, part Saturday and had it finished on Sunday (a day early...at least prior to having to fix it on Monday!).  I did agree that it was not acceptable for Matt to have missed the additional information in class about encyclopedias and how to deal with authorless entries (they are doing some modified MLA, so anything that wasn't on the example bibliography was a mystery), but quietly wondered why they couldn't include all the information on the assignment sheet since everyone isn't an audible learner.  I wish I was a fly on the wall so I could see what Matt is doing when this kind of discussion is going on. Is he looking out the window?   Blank stare and nodding?

So there you have it . . . despite having earned a high school diploma, bachelor's degree and master's degree, I am on the verge of being taken down by the 5th grade.

Let's dance!

It was a long, long week.

Or at least it seemed like it.

Some of the highlights include Gracie managing to literally make herself sick over a lost paperback book,  the big build up to "the snow day that wasn't" (yep, we didn't get a single flake!), a trip to Opryland to pick up Girl Scout cookies for our troop, hosting a huge baked potato and chili luncheon at school for all the teachers with my friends Colleen and Lanesia, getting the volunteer schedule in place for Book Fair, a Brownie meeting which included a trip to our vets office where I inconveniently find out that one of my new scouts is deathly afraid of dogs and being in the midst of a big ADHD flare-up for Matthew.  

But tonight was fun . . . a much needed ending to the week.  Bassam and Gracie were off  to the Father Daughter dance at school!

Despite my not being thrilled about the dress she chose, Gracie made it her own and declared it was perfect for dancing.  She was so happy that Bassam found a purple shirt and tie in his closet so they would match!  They look so sweet!  As for the dancing, Bassam only had to make a couple appearances on the dance floor, which was probably just fine with him.  Gracie and her pals, however, danced up a storm!

 

I don't think they were alone, either.  I headed over to school at the end as people were leaving to help with clean up and I noticed that there were a lot of sweaty girls with crazy hair and no shoes, yet most of the dads still looked pretty fresh.   As I swept the floor in the gym, I found no less than 10 barrettes, hair bands and bows that got left behind, sort of like Cinderella's glass slipper.

 

Clearly, a good time was had by all!

Notetaking 101

Do you remember how you learned to take notes?   

Honestly, I can't really remember when I started taking them. When did we go from studying worksheets and rereading chapters to taking notes in class?  My first recollection was 8th grade in Humanities class with Mr. Richards.  And I don't so much remember taking notes as I remember him telling me my notes looked like hieroglyphics. 

I come by my bad handwriting naturally . . . thank you, Dad.

Hieroglyphics or not, I got by on my messy note-taking skills pretty well up until graduate school.   I don't say this to brag, but until then, I never really had to study very hard.   I got by on last minute cram sessions, up-all-night papers and all-but-impromptu presentations.   Did I have all A's?  No, I did not.   But my grades were a respectable mix of A's and B's.   

And then came graduate school.  

Textbooks were dense, the lectures were long and the material did not necessarily overlap.  I found myself trying to learn study skills at the age of 22 and wishing I had done so sooner.    These were the pre-lap tops days (who am I kidding, I still don't have one!), so I routinely would go home after class and type up my notes as a way to review the material and have them more organized when test time came around (and they had to be good, because my grad school pals and I organized a note swap before every test which was a life saver!).   Still, for two years I worked harder than I ever had and amazingly graduated with a 4.0.

Satisfying?  Yes!  But definitely exhausting, especially considering I did it while working in a residence hall . . . definitely not an environment known for peaceful studying.

Where is all this going?  Well, I went to a seminar today about ADHD and as we were discussing learning styles it occurred to me that there is a very good chance that my son is going to struggle with note taking during class.  Big time.   I have no idea how to go about teaching that skill to my kid.   He's a 4th grader so it's probably not a big deal now, but he'll be in middle school in less than a year in a half.  I have no idea if somewhere along the line they teach study skills, but I need to find out.  And then I need to figure out how to help him adjust that to his learning style.  

Parents of middle schoolers . . . what say you?